The Paradox of Possessiveness.....

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The Paradox of Possessiveness

< insecurity, entitlement, and us >


Here goes the thing,

Possessiveness roots either from crippling insecurity or a false sense of entitlement.


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1. Crippling Insecurity

When you have low self-esteem, you don't feel worthy enough to define yourself by yourself alone. You rely on the possessions and people in your life to fill up that blank space for you.

  • "I'm a doctor."
  • "I'm her boyfriend."
  • "I'm a millionaire."
  • "I'm a writer."
  • "I'm a mother."
  • "That's my most precious gift."
  • "I can't live without XYZ."

You overly align yourself with a few particular labels because it's more comforting (and socially convenient) than saying, "I'm me."



Low self-esteem relies on worldly labels.
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2. Entitlement

A misplaced sense of privilege tricks you into believing that you deserve the best at every turn in life. Even if you're an ass. You mistake the world's favours and fortunes for your birth rights and crib like a 3-year-old when they inevitably part ways.

This is very common in romantic relationships. For instance, you have the liberty to be with your partner, but you don't have the luxury of telling them not to hang out with anyone else. You're entitled to their companionship but not to their independence.

When you mistake your privilege for authority and possessiveness for love, you cross a line you never had the right to.


You're entitled to your partner's companionship; not independence.

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But the problem of entitlement existed long before romantic relationships were a thing. The issue stems from evolution.

The rapid advancement of our species has convinced us into prioritizing human lives above the rest of nature. We've moved from the idea of belonging to this world to owning it.

Despite our notions, in the face of infinite time and eternal space, everything we do, or don't do, boils down to 0. Our life, human bodily life, is a hysterical blip in an ever-expanding universe. Irrespective what we believe, the cosmos doesn't owe us anything.

 

Human life is a hysterical blip in an ever- expanding universe.

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This understanding gives rise to a beautiful yet messy paradox.

On one hand, you need to think highly of yourself to build your self-esteem, on the other, 

                        you need to be humble about your existence to not grow abusive of your power.

And that is not easy. Our mind functions well in black and white but has difficulty accepting the grey.

Or so I think.


Written by :- Aryan Singh Chauhan

Design - Hive (https://www.behance.net/hive-designs)


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